and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
