Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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