1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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