real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
