his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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