she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize