everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
