I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
