friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
