i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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