His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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