the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
