playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
