hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
