He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
