Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
