I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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