oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
