Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
wakey wakey hands off snakey
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize