Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
