Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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