If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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