I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
