Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize