I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All the doctor said was why
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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