we're blogging at a bar
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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