dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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