I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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