On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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