I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
do nipples grow back?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
