You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
