You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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