hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
