Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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