The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
