I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
