Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
