walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
