Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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