I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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