Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
