dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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