Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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