Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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