I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
