Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
