I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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