had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
