I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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