I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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