I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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