yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
