If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
