I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
