If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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