speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
