I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
