D3 body, D1 cock
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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