Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
