I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
