i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
