Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
