Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
