It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
