Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
