He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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