Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
