Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
